Today is our wedding anniversary! I married Cameron three years ago today, and I’m so thankful it wasn’t 80 degrees. (What is this weather?) I wish I were a skilled enough writer to express all the ways that our marriage has changed me, challenged me, and overall been the best experience of my life. I’m assuming none of you (except Cameron) are interested in a super long list of what I admire about Cameron, but I do want to speak to a few things I’ve learned about marriage and about life and about myself. One of my least favorite pieces of advice is that marriage is “all about compromise.” That simply isn’t what I believe. To be completely honest, I believe that a marriage built on compromise is likely set up to fail, because compromise is about me. It’s a way of getting what I want. I’m not currently comfortable sharing it publicly, but many of you know that Cameron and I are facing something scary this month. And in light of that, I’ve had to make some decisions about my purpose, about the purpose of our marriage, and about “the meaning of life.” You know what has become so clear to me? It’s not about what I want. When I break it down, and when I consider the way that I dream about my future, what is at the center? For me, it tends to be an expectation that I will get to experience comfort, financial success, healthy children, a long life with my husband, and so many other things that I ultimately want. Those desires are good, and I don’t want to minimize their importance. But what if I lose those things? What if my life isn’t “normal”? What if I’m not actually entitled to all of these assumptions I’ve made about the future? I have so much left to learn about the answer to these questions, but right now I find comfort in the realization that it’s okay. This life will have pain and disappointment and won’t always give me what I want, and that’s okay, because my ultimate hope, fulfillment, and identity is not in my family or my business or my health or my friends or my money, but in the person who gave up everything to love me and to rescue me from brokenness. And so this life is not about what I want but about what I already have. For, as Paul says in my favorite chapter, “I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)
March goals? Love God, love people, and rest in hope.